As soon as I read this entry I reflected back on a very difficult time in our lives.......I have mentioned it before but I believe this is another time to write about it. It is the time we had a year unexpectedly in San Diego, California.
We were living in Thailand......Amanda had completed 3rd grade, Justin, 6th, and Jeremy was going to enter 9th grade and high school years.......We returned to California to visit family and had plans to go to Maryland where we still owned a home and had close neighbors there with whom the children kept contact. This was no different from many years when we returned home for a few months during the summer.
My sister, Barbara, had a timeshare apartment in Carlsbad, California. She graciously offered for us to use her week there for some time together at the beach. It was wonderful and we were so looking forward to it. We had already spent some time in the Los Angeles area visiting friends and family.
We settled into the place and although it was cooler than we had expected, it was wonderful. We had friends we had known in Indonesia coming to visit us. After breakfast the boys wanted to go to rent a video at the nearby store. They were going to borrow the bikes that were available and at the last moment I reminded them to wear a helmet.......if there is no helmet, don't ride. Off they went....Now it is interesting that I told them to wear the helmets because in Thailand no one wore one.....but I believe that was God's intervention.....
After some time we heard sirens and commented on how amazing it is that fire trucks can go so quickly down the streets.....never would happen in the traffic of Bangkok....and we laughed. A short while later Justin came back carrying Jeremy's shoes. He was with a couple we had never met before. They told us that Jeremy had been hit by a car and the police had sent them with Justin to get us. Jeremy was going to go to the hospital in an ambulance. We were stunned. Justin was silent and crying. We quickly got into the car with Amanda and Justin and the couple showed us the way back to the accident scene.
When this type of incident occurs you are not really clear in all that is happening. We arrived at the scene and there was an ambulance, Jeremy was on the other side of the paramedics and his leg was in a splint.....we could not see the rest him. I got out of the car and began to run to him.....but a policeman stopped me and told me I couldn't go into the accident scene......I should meet him at the hospital. I told him in no uncertain terms that I was a nurse and would go to see my son but he kept pushing me back and saying that Jeremy was fine.....just a broken leg.....and we needed to go to the hospital. It was about this moment that I first saw the helicopter on the road......and then the paramedics moved the gurney with Jeremy lying on it toward the helicopter.....and I saw that this policeman was lying to me....Jeremy was seriously injured.....and the paramedics were breathing for him......
They gave us directions to drive to Children's Hospital of San Diego....and Bryan drove so fast. It was on the road that I called my mother to ask her to pray for Jeremy. Also a verse came to my mind from the Bible in Job 13:15 that says: "Though He slay me, yet I will hope in Him". Did this mean that Jeremy was going to die? We had no idea. At the hospital we saw Jeremy from a distance in the Emergency Room just before they took him for hours of surgery. We lived in the ICU waiting room for days.....and then the hospital helped us get into the Ronald McDonald House for a week until we could find a place to live.
So why am I telling you this story? For many years I believed that God would bless us if we followed Him closely.....somehow we would be protected from the horrors of life......yet I had learned a few years before that this just isn't true. We are not protected from bad events......these are a part of life......and living in an imperfect world...... Our purpose is to walk through these terrible times.....continuing to trust God in the process......not just 'holding on' until we get to the goal......whatever that goal might be at that time......Oswald Chambers writes this......"What is my vision of God’s purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish— His purpose is the process itself."
While we were waiting for the doctors to finish the hours of surgery and tell us something....Bryan and I prayed and purposed with each other.....now it doesn't make sense to blame each other but when the tensions are high, we tend to do this.....try to find someone to blame.....but we decided that no matter what.....God was in control and He could mend Jeremy and restore him to health.....and we would just trust Him in the process. Of course, we had no idea what that process would exact from all of us.....but we started it with resolutely stating our belief that God is sovereign over all of this too. Every day we prayed for Jeremy to awaken from his coma......something like in the movies where he would suddenly just be awake and alert and it will all be over.....all the waiting and watching and hoping and anxiety for his future.
Oswald Chamber continues...."God’s purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time. However, if we realize that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment as it comes is precious."
Jeremy had a long road of recovery and God was faithful. He is now married and has a wonderful daughter. I find that I recall these days because I want to remember God's faithfulness to all of us during that time and now......it helps me face the next issue......and remember, it is the process, not the product that God is perfecting in me.
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