At times God places people in our paths to say things that we that we need to hear but are not listening. It is interesting how God uses people to awaken us when we are walking away. This is a difficult story to relate because it reveals how destructive some choices can be in our lives.....and God's grace protects us at times by direct intervention of other people as this story will relate. I hope it is a challenge to listen when someone gives you a warning and also to be willing to speak to others when they are in a potentially destructive situation.
As I read this devotional I reflected on several people who have challenged my dangerous behavior and I believe were present in my life by God's design to continually call me back to Him and to protect me from my recklessness. One person I'm thinking of is Sherry Heuber.....a dear friend and suite mate from Vietnam days.
Sherry had lived in Vietnam before I came to work at Hoa Khanh Children's Hospital She had lived in a house in Hue, a city to the north of Danang. She had been there for a year, I believe, working in community development with a ladies program. She returned to the USA when her contract was finished and did not plan to return. Yet she was called back to work as the dietitian in the hospital kitchen at the Children's Hospital and it was there we became friends. She seemed to me to be so wise and self assured and I was feeling a need to keep up a bravado to hide my feelings of inadequacy and ignorance. She was also there, I believe, to keep me from making some very serious and dangerous choices.
One day I was talking to her about an invitation I had to ride in a US Tank convoy from Danang to Hue. This meant having to travel up a very risky mountain pass, the Hai Van Pass.....This pass was named for the mists that rise from the sea and reduce visibility. While I was there, we would travel the road and there were many accidents that occurred due to the hair pin curves at some areas with a sharp drop off on the side. This was certainly not a wise place to go with a convoy of military when I was a civilian and had no real need to travel the road at that time. I just thought this would be fun.....and I was very surprised at her immediate reaction......she said....."You cannot go!" I thought she might want to go with me....so her response was surprising and quite frankly....disappointing.
All of us at the hospital had opportunities to take a flight on Medivac Helicopters. The pilots would come when they had a break and land at the hospital and we could go for a ride with them.....this was common and also a lot of fun. We could fly over the bay and up the coast a little....and it was a great way to relax after the long hours that we worked. So at that time I didn't see the difference between the helicopter rides and a tank ride. Now, I certainly can see the difference but I was 24 years old and was not really looking at the real possibilities of a huge problem on the road due to the war. Sherry went on to explain to me that I was in Vietnam with a job to do....to work as a nurse at the hospital and it was totally inappropriate for me to go for a joy ride and such an unsafe ride.....and although I was angry, I knew she was right. I declined the ride and went back to where I was supposed to be. I believe God protected me that day because Sherry spoke up so strongly....not her normal behavior.
After Sherry left Vietnam and before I moved, I did have an opportunity to ride in a tank with a Vietnamese driver......and accepted that offer. It was about midnight......past curfew but I thought in a tank, no problem. Well this driver went so very fast and so far and quite honestly, I was frightened that he might not take me back to the hospital and no one knew I had gone. Thankfully he did take me back but I realize as I reflect back that I was not retaining the lessons I was being taught by someone so much wiser than me. Still, God protected me......even though I was walking far away from Him.
Again, after I left the Children's hospital in 1973, I traveled with a friend to Europe. Sherry was married by then and her husband, Rob, was a pilot in Germany. I went to visit them and stayed for some time with her. It was wonderful being able to renew the friendship and see her so happy in her new life.
As I have said before, I was not walking with the Lord at all at this time......I was willfully doing my own thing and only if I got into a difficult situation would I call on the Lord and plead for His help to save me. I really had turned my back on all that I had learned as a child being raised in a Christian home with parents that did their best to teach us how to live a godly life. So when I arrived in Germany, I was ready for whatever was fun......and when you are looking for this, it will be available to you.
Sherry and Rob had a party to introduce me to several of their friends in the military housing. We had a good time and it allowed me to meet those that were important in their lives then. There was one man who came to the party and his wife was in the USA visiting family. He was interesting to talk to and amusing. At the end of the evening he said that he was going to take his motorcycle and drive to Holland over the long weekend and asked me to go. I told Sherry that he had offered this and I wanted to go....I'd be back late Sunday night. And this is why I speak of my ignorance......Again, Sherry was direct and rather harsh with me. She said, "Margaret, he is married!!!" "You cannot go on this adventure". "What are you thinking????" I immediately felt ashamed......Now I want to say in my defense that I was thinking of a fun motorcycle ride to countries I where I had never traveled but not thinking about the fact he was married and we would have several overnights on the trip. She then said, "If you were his wife, what would you think?" I went back to him and told him I couldn't go......it wasn't appropriate. He said he understood.
I tell these stories not because I am proud of my choices in those days. I am smarter than I was acting and was not looking at anything beyond the next few moments or hours or days.......I truly believe that God brought Sherry into my life for the building up of each other......and for her to be the good friend to me and speak the truth in love.....when I was making terrible choices.
Oswald Chambers speaks of this: "Our Lord never insists on having authority over us. He never says, “You will submit to me.” No, He leaves us perfectly free to choose.....It is simply the unworthiness within me that refuses to bow down or to submit to one who is worthy....When I meet someone who is more holy than myself.......God teaches us by using these people who are a little better than we are; not better intellectually, but more holy. And He continues to do so until we willingly submit. Then the whole attitude of our life is one of obedience to Him. Now it still took several months for me to come face to face with God at that conference, but He was protecting me and preparing me for that encounter, I believe. "If our Lord insisted on our obedience, He would simply become a taskmaster and cease to have any real authority. He never insists on obedience, but when we truly see Him we will instantly obey Him. Then He is easily Lord of our life, and we live in adoration of Him from morning till night.
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