This devotional from Oswald Chambers is so appropriate for the next part of this story. He writes about Jesus' teaching, "As long as we have some self-righteous idea that we can carry out our Lord’s teaching, God will allow us to continue until we expose our own ignorance by stumbling over some obstacle in our way". This was exactly where I was.....thinking I could certainly arrange all that was needed to get the Vietnamese orphans I was responsible for from the refugee camp in Guam to their new families in Chicago, Illinois. I had prayed for God's guidance and then expected to just be able to accomplish this huge task. It was an experience I had never encountered before and it became more daunting as the days progressed.
In 1975, I had been evacuated from Vietnam and finally came to Guam. It was there that I became the escort for six orphaned children that had been evacuated from an orphanage in Nha Trang, Vietnam.
The six orphans and I had traveled to and were now resident at Fort Chafee, Arkansas. We were living in a camp with only Vietnamese people. I was the only American living in the refugee camp with my 'children'. Missionaries that had worked in Vietnam for many years had come to this area. They entered the camp during the day but went to local hotels to sleep at night. Again, these were people I had known in Vietnam when I was working with the Christian and Missionary Alliance in Pleiku. They did not work in Pleiku but we met at conference meetings and in the guest house in Saigon. It was encouraging for me to find people with whom I could speak easily as most of my time I was trying to use the limited language skills I had with the children and the other residents in the camp. As an American I could have left the camp at anytime but the children couldn't.....and so I wouldn't.
The goal that I had was to get through the immigration process required for the release of these children and get them to their adoptive families. So the first full day we were there I started the process and took the children with me to each meeting.....wanting to make sure they were safe, not getting into trouble, and for the impact I believed it would have on the Americans that were managing the processing. It didn't seem to make any difference because we were one of hundreds of people waiting to process. Every place we went was long lines and long waits. Sometimes you would wait and not be seen that day and need to come back the next.
The first requirement was a medical check. If you were over the age of 15, you had to have blood work for sexually transmitted diseases. Since all the children were 14 years of age and younger, none of them needed these tests. Because I was in the camp, I was required to have them. As I sat with the corpsman who was explaining what was required for him to sign off on the medical exams, I told him that I didn't need the blood work because I was a missionary nurse. I'll never forget his response..... "Look lady, I don't care who you are. You are over the age of 15 so put your arm out and get the test". I did. All of us were required to have the tuberculosis skin test. This then meant that we needed to stay in the camp for the next three days before the test could be read and the medical requirements signed off.
It was during this waiting that I began to worry......Bryan had left Guam in such a hurry.....we had a few moments to speak across a fence before he was taken to be deported and he had wanted to give me the adoption information but we both forgot that I did not know where he lived in Illinois and how to get in touch with him. As I have said, much of the time in Guam was chaotic. So here I was in Arkansas with these six children and did not know how to connect with Bryan to update him on our progress. This began to way heavy on my heart.
I tried to think of how to get in touch with him and one day as we were walking around the camp during the waiting I saw a Red Cross tent. I went to see the worker there and she saw my distress and understood my plight. I'd imagine she thought I was nuts......and certainly not well prepared. She helped me try to find Bryan. I remembered him giving his information to someone else at the camp and had seen that his town had two names and was about an hour outside of Wheaton, Illinois....so we looked at the map and found several towns......the closest to Wheaton was, DeKalb. At least this is how it was spelled on the map. Actually this town is only one word but two syllables....it is a miracle I ever found him......To me this met the two word requirement so I called information and asked for the phone number of Bryan Truman. Thankfully the phone was registered in his name. I called and a man answered, "Joe's Bar and Grill". I hung up and burst into tears. The days were becoming long and isolating for me and the wait for everything.....long lines....and now I thought I had found the right Bryan Truman but his phone was answered as a bar and grill.......The Red Cross worker suggested gently that I try to call again......and this time Bryan's roommate answered with, "Hello". Bryan was not home....he was relaxing in Wisconsin at 'The Dunes'. Rick said he would tell him I had called and would update him on our progress. I told him I would call back when we were ready to leave.
Finally the three day waiting for the laboratory tests was completed and all of us were declared healthy. Many of the other immigration requirements were waived due to the age of the children and I went to try to get a flight to take the children to their new homes. We had been in the camps for 6 days by then. It seemed much longer, let me tell you.
I had a release for each of the children when I went to the office that made the airline bookings. On the document it listed the six children's names only. So when I turned in the paper the clerk told me that only the children would be given tickets and I would not be able to fly with them. This was unacceptable and I tried to explain how they were orphans and I had been with them throughout this process was the responsible to escort them to their adoptive families. He would not listen. He just said it was not possible. I was so discouraged and as I began walking out another clerk came up and quietly said, "He leaves at 3PM. Come back at 3:30." The kids and I went out and waited and I prayed. At the appointed time I returned to the office and gave the clerk my paper. He quietly said, "Go to a typewriter and add your name before you turn the in the requisition". I did and it was quite evident that my name was added since the new type was larger. I took the paper to the processing clerk and he looked at it and took it to his boss. This man called me into his office and asked, "Did you add your name to this?" I responded, "Do you really want me to answer that?" He said, "Yes". Then I said I had and began the explanation of the plight of these orphans and how they needed me to remain with them until they could be given to their adoptive families and he listened patiently and then said something that made me realize that God was directing my paths.......He said, "I was one of the pilots on the Air America flight that you were on when you were evacuated from Pleiku. I remember someone put your sewing machine on just before we shut the door......If you have made it this far, I will not block your way now." He took the paper and signed it for us to leave the next day. I was so surprised and so thankful......I went back to the Red Cross tent and told Rick, Bryan's roommate, that we would be coming on the flight the next day and to have us met in Chicago. He said he would relay the message.
The children and I were so excited. This was our last night here. We went to dinner and were celebrating. Now I need to tell you that the missionaries had given me a name tag when I was in Guam. It said, "Tin Lanh" which signified the Christian and Missionary Alliance Church in Vietnam and allowed the Vietnamese to recognize with whom I was associated....below that was my name and the job I had been doing...."Margaret Herren, RN". Since I had worn that in Guam I continued to wear it in Ft Chafee refugee camp along with my photo identification for the camp. It is interesting.....by being in the refugee camp and having the children with me all the time and also wearing the name badge that had Vietnamese writing on it.....even though I am 6 feet tall, many of the Americans I met called me either "Miss Lan" or "Miss Lanh". It was amusing....but also I found that the camp living ws dehumanizing.....in the food lines no one looked us in the face or spoke.....we took a very large metal tray and walked down the line. Food was heaped on the tray as we passed. Then we went to sit and eat but it was such a huge amount of food and much was wasted. I remember that evening they had apples and one of the boys ate two....he loved them. We went back to our barracks with the helicopter pilots and went to bed because we needed to leave at 5:30AM to be transported to the airport. About 2AM, one of the boys began crying out in pain and holding his stomach. I tried to examine him but he was in too much pain. I left one of the pilots with the children and ran to the mess area. There were soldiers working even at that time there.....I said, "One of my children is very sick and needs to go to the hospital. I think he might have an appendicitis." I spoke to this young man exactly those words and was so surprised when he called the emergency room and said, "I have a dumb Vietnamese woman here saying her kid is dying and wants to go to the hospital. Can you come and get them?" I just looked at him......he was several inches shorter than I and I said, "I'm American". He finally looked up at me and didn't say anything else but his face showed his shock. The ambulance came, we went to the emergency room and I was thinking.....we will not be able to leave in the morning if he is really ill.....but it turned out to be from the apples. He had never eaten them before and two were too many......so with a stomach medicine, we went back to our barracks and waited for the bus.
There were a few other refugees on the bus as we went to the airport. A soldier came on and asked for each of our photo identifications to check us off his list. When he came to me, I asked if I could keep my badge......he looked at it....saw I was an American citizen, smiled and handed it back to me. I have kept it ever since......as a reminder of those days. We flew on a Frontier Airline flight that stopped several times between Arkansas and Illinois. We arrived and when we came out of arrivals, no one was there to meet us. Bryan had been caught in traffic and was late......and I saw a group of people waiting but did not know at that time it was the families. Even the family that was to adopt the one child that was taken out of the camp in Guam was there and so sad. Then the hardest thing in a long list of difficult things happened.....and I should have expected this. I had escorted children to adoptive families before from Vietnam when I lived there and you took them to the airport and their adoptive family received them and your job was finished. But I had grown very attached to these children and they to me and so it was very hard to just give them a hug and let them go. The group had a picnic the following Saturday as the children were so sad being separated to three families. Several of the children were very happy in their homes but not all adjusted easily.
Throughout these days I had purposed to follow closely to God and do what was put in front of me. It was far beyond my abilities and yet as I reflect back, I see His hand in the process with the children but also in teaching me about my need not to be just do but to allow Him to mold me into the person He wants me to be. Oswald Chambers says it so clearly, "What good is there in telling me to be what I can never be— to be “pure in heart” (Matthew 5:8), to do more than my duty, or to be completely devoted to God? I must know Jesus Christ as my Savior before His teaching has any meaning for me other than that of a lofty ideal which only leads to despair. But when I am born again by the Spirit of God, I know that Jesus Christ did not come only to teach— He came to make me what He teaches I should be." Isn't it interesting.....I was no longer living for fun and thrills but for the Lord and my life was certainly never boring......and never is even now!
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