The story that comes to mind with the death of a friend.....one who was influencing me in a positive way as a role model for living his life for God.....at a time when I was really not walking with the Lord.....is David Alvarez. Remember, he and his wife came to Hoa Khanh Children's Hospital in Vietnam to work shortly after I did. He was an orthopedic surgeon and his wife, Nancy's, specialty was pediatrics. What a great combination for this children's hospital.
I remember when they arrived we were impressed with his determination to learn the language, adapt his surgery and the tools he would use to what was available. There were days he would go to the maintenance area, find the tools he would need for the next days surgery, take them into the central supply area and sterilize them to get them ready. He was so dedicated to learning the language too. I remember coming to his home to ask him to read an Xray I had taken and heard this Vietnamese language tape playing while everyone was in the room. His wife, Nancy, said that it was on day and night so he would learn the language more quickly......
Surgeons are generally type cast as artists with a difficult personality associated with their skill and practice. I know that I was expecting David to be difficult to work with.....and he had a standard that was very high......and expectation of the type of nursing care his patients would receive....but he was also very kind and caring and willing to teach if you paid attention. We did not have an anesthesiologist available so he taught me how to give the anesthesia to the patients and then would teach me about the area he was working on while he did the surgery. I considered it a privilege for him to ask me to work with him.
When we had Bible study and prayer meeting, he was always willing to share what God was teaching him......and he lived what he spoke about......so he had credibility with all of us that were so young and ignorant.....You see, most of us working at the hospital, except for the doctors, were in our 20s.....There were the three nurses, a dietitian, several Mennonite's who were doing their alternate military service as well as others......and when Glenn Mitchell came and he was only in his late teens.
Those of us who were not married, which was the greatest number, lived first in wooden rooms that shared a bathroom with one other person. Then we moved into a cement duplex arrangement that gave each of us a living room and bedroom and shared a bathroom. Very nice. Less bugs in these. We all met 3 times a day at the dining hall where we had our meals prepared by a Vietnamese helper. This helped to build camaraderie among us.
One morning when we were at breakfast, David came to our dining room and asked me to come to help him with an Xray. It was like 6:30 and I was tired.....and so I asked if I could come later.....he just walked out saying, "I'll take care of it myself". I felt terrible, got up and followed him to the Xray room. It was he that needed the Xray. He said he couldn't breathe. I took the Xray and developed it for him and he went home. Now the Xray room was great.....but the darkroom was creepy.....3 tanks were set up and you shut the door and in the dark, opened the film holder, took the film and clipped it on the holders and dipped it in the first tank for a set time, moved it to the rinse and then developer for that time and so not difficult...... What was difficult was as soon as the light went off, you could hear the cockroaches running around on the wooden surfaces......it was so gross and in such a small space and the few minutes you were in there with them....seemed an eternity. I really didn't like having to develop Xrays.
When I took the Xray to David, it was clear. His wife was very concerned because she said he had been up during the night saying he couldn't breathe too.
By that afternoon, David went to the army Medivac hospital and his lungs were full of pneumonia. He declined very quickly and no matter what they gave him, continued to worsen. Finally they used Curare to paralyze him so he wouldn't fight the respirator. He would just lay there and mouthed...."I can't breath". It was terrible. Within a few days he died. We were all in shock.
Nancy, remember, had spoken at the first Bible study she came to and said that she was not personally called to Vietnam but had come with their two preschool children because of her husband's call. I remember her strength so clearly......she came back to the hospital the evening he died and within one day had packed up their things and was leaving. She was content to have us come and be with her if we didn't cry......so she could remain composed...... They had a wonderful memorial service with a picture of David in the front. Nancy even was able to speak. She then left, with her children and David's body to return to California. It was at the airport that things became the most difficult.......their little son came running back from the plane saying..."I'm not leaving without my Daddy". We had to catch him and hand him to his mom.
After they left there was a huge hole in the group. We still had to work and do all that we had done before but there was such a sense of loss......and questions.......Why had God bought them here?... David was so perfect for the work...an orthopedic surgeon for all the war related injuries and Nancy, a pediatrician to work together with the Medical Director, Bob Long. David was so dedicated and spoke the best Vietnamese of the foreign medical staff......and I marveled at the clarity of his call to this place.....and now.....after such a short time.....they were both gone...... I remember writing a prayer letter to my supporters asking where God was in all this...... It was probably the most honest of the letters I sent to them.
Several years later I went to northern California where Nancy was living and had some time with her. She had remarried....to another Orthopedic surgeon....and in their home were pictures of his wife and their children as well as ones she had picked up after David had died of their last outing to China Beach...and he was throwing the kids into the surf.....so full of joy and life.
Oswald Chambers says, "Our soul’s personal history with God is often an account of the death of our heroes. Over and over again God has to remove our friends to put Himself in their place, and that is when we falter, fail, and become discouraged." During this time I was living a dual life......one that knew the Bible and how to 'act' Christian....but also was angry and wanting to live life on my terms. It was exhausting......and so unsatisfying......
"My vision of God is dependent upon the condition of my character. My character determines whether or not truth can even be revealed to me. Before I can say, 'I saw the Lord,' there must be something in my character that conforms to the likeness of God." Sadly, there was going to be some time go by before I was really going to 'See God' in all my circumstances. What I am so thankful for as I reflect on my journey, is I can see God's hand was on me....even as I was willfully not conforming to His likeness.
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