Bryan and I moved from Malang, East Java, Indonesia, to the capital, Jakarta in December 1978. We moved into a lovely home but it was way out of town in a place called, Kabayoran Lama....translated old Kabayoran and we had only one car that Bryan drove each day to work. I had a driver come if I needed to go anywhere but most of the time I stayed home.....I was also six months pregnant with our first child, Jeremy.
On New Years Eve Bryan took me to the Marriott Hotel for dinner. While we were there we saw a family come in for dinner also. Now the unusual thing about this family was when the wife, Lorraine, walked in....she had obviously had a stroke with residual loss of function of her right hand and right leg. The family was happy and enjoying the time out. The kids were young and no one showed any unusual concern about how Lorraine was going to eat her meal. It was clear that this was not a new situation for her. I continued to watch as they ordered their food and heard the husband say quietly, "Please cut her meat in the kitchen". That was the only adaptation made. It was warming to watch this sweet family enjoying time together in their normalcy of life. The next Sunday we went to church and who should walk in but this same family, smiling and happy to be there.
After we had settled into our home, I joined the ladies weekly Bible study and who was there? Lorraine. I couldn't help and I it so went to her and introduced myself and told her I had seen her at several venues and was happy to meet her. I think she was startled and perhaps thought I was a stalker of some sort....but in the 70's this wasn't a huge issue.....stalking.... We chatted and she was so excited when she found that Bryan worked for World Vision International. They as a family, sponsored several children around the world. We became good friends and she helped in ways you wouldn't imagine after Jeremy was born....but that is another story.
Because of her friendship and welcoming nature, I became involved in the ladies group and this led to the story today.....Oswald Chambers writes, "Oh, the bravery of God in trusting us! .....As long as you think that you are of value to Him He cannot choose you, because you have purposes of your own to serve. But if you will allow Him to take you to the end of your own self-sufficiency, then He can choose you to go with Him “to Jerusalem” (Luke 18:31). And that will mean the fulfilment of purposes which He does not discuss with you." I encourage you to read Luke 18:31 because this is when Jesus tells the disciples again that His purpose is to die and then rise again.....so to extrapolate from that to me.....the fulfilment of His purpose must mean that I die to my goals, purposes and plans and am raised again to His purposes.....and that likely I will know that I am not going to be comfortable with this.
For several years I worked with the pastors wives and we wrote Bible Studies for the women's group. I came to know the ladies quite well and one day Caroline Robertson, a delightful British woman, came to me and asked if I would be willing to be on the committee working with the Christian Women's Club. They were needing new people on this committee due to some moving away. I thought since Caroline was so talented with administration and well spoken, she would be the new chairwoman and I would just have some minor role to begin with so I said yes. When we met my name was put forth by Caroline as Chairwoman and I was voted into the position.
Now you need to understand....Christian Women's Club was very well received across the church groups in Jakarta as well as the ladies that did not go to church. The meeting was held at the Hilton Hotel Grand Ballroom and went like this.......meet and greet and have something to eat, call the women together....have some secular music, a program of interest in the community like a fashion show, wildlife talk or special visitor to perform......then religious music and a speaker with a focus on God after which the ladies would leave. This would take about 3 hours and we met once a month. The idea of getting up in front of 300 ladies at this venue was daunting and I was terrified. I was also pregnant with my second son, Justin, at the time and tried to use that as a reason I should not be in front. I'm sure that those of you reading this now......if you knew me.....would find this anxiety surprising......but at that time, it was really terrifying. Before the first meeting I was to be in front we had time to pray and then were to go out to the stage......and I had to excuse myself and go to throw up in the bathroom. This added to my anxiety.....what if I got sick on the stage???
Oswald Chambers continues, "We tend to say that because a person has natural ability, he will make a good Christian (leader). It is not a matter of our equipment, but a matter of our poverty; not of what we bring with us, but of what God puts into us; not a matter of natural virtues, of strength of character, of knowledge, or of experience— all of that is of no avail in this concern. The only thing of value is being taken into the compelling purpose of God and being made His friends (see 1 Corinthians 1:26-31)." I had written the order of the meeting on 3x5 cards with color coding....but somehow I shuffled the cards so I started with the cultural event and then went straight to the speaker who had a very touching story to tell.....during her speech I saw that I had forgotten the first music....a Broadway musical number....and so after this woman spoke and the room was hushed, I invited the singer to come and she did a really fast humorous song......I closed in prayer and she sang her religious song at the end. It was really sad because many of the women had been touched by the speaker but this was lost in the mix up of the music. "As Christians we are not here for our own purpose at all— we are here for the purpose of God, and the two are not the same. We do not know what God’s compelling purpose is, but whatever happens, we must maintain our relationship with Him."
The committee met the next week and first on the agenda was what had happened at the community meeting. I was well aware of the mess I had made of things.....they were aware of my throwing up in the bathroom prior to going onto the stage.....so I did what I believed was the best thing and I resigned..... I do believe this surprised the ladies but since none of them wanted the postion, my resignation was not accepted. I say this with tongue in cheek that it was only they didn't want to be the chairwoman. Looking back at this, I see the hand of God on me....preparing me for other times of leadership.....making me well aware of the areas of inability and weakness....and causing me to draw more on Him during these times.
Many years later in Bangkok I felt it was time for some other woman to become the head of the Encouraging Women's Group of about 70 ladies that met weekly for Bible study and socialization. I had been in the position for a long time so with prayer and discussion with the other ladies, we asked Peggy Greer to take the position. I saw the fear in her eyes and the anxiety that was there for several months as she headed up this group that so reminded me of my start in Jakarta. It wasn't long before Peggy left Bangkok and moved to Singapore where she started another group to gather women together for Bible study and encouragement. Oswald Chambers writes, "The most important aspect of Christianity is not the work we do, but the relationship we maintain and the surrounding influence and qualities produced by that relationship. That is all God asks us to give our attention to, and it is the one thing that is continually under attack."
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