Nearly everyday I pause and think about what my purpose is. There there have been times when this seemed very easy to identify.....and it was usually surrounding whatever job I had at that moment. I frequently find my goals and personal worth are tied closely to what I am to be doing......and it must be something of value.
There were years when I lived in Thailand and several of the ladies and I would get together and talk about...if only I had a job....a salary to call my own.....then I would be happy because I would be able to see my worth in the increase in responsibility and salary that would go with it..... Now you need to remember that when living as an expatriate generally there are such benefits as a driver, house help, possible cook, built in childcare....and so on.....so to think that I would only be REALLY happy if I was also employed....it is ridiculous...... Furthermore, when looking at this reading today.....what I am doing or what makes me happy isn't the point at all.....but I am just saying....this is what I spend time thinking about in relation to where I am right now. Oswald Chambers writes, "In the natural life our ambitions are our own, but in the Christian life we have no goals of our own. We talk so much today about our decisions for Christ, our determination to be Christians, and our decisions for this and that, but in the New Testament the only aspect that is brought out is the compelling purpose of God."
So what about those years in Indonesia, the Philippines, Thailand and now in Angola? Oswald Chambers continues, "We are not taken into a conscious agreement with God’s purpose— we are taken into God’s purpose with no awareness of it at all. We have no idea what God’s goal may be; as we continue, His purpose becomes even more and more vague." These words I can identify with well here in Soyo. I realize I continue to come back to what is happening right now....the delay and perhaps loss of the hope of working here with those at end of life.....to find a real purpose for being here..... I have already spent more than two years with the hope, in prayer, in searching to see a way of doing something of value here.....for God and the people that need the assistance.....and apparently....at this time.....this is not what I should be focusing on.....so I try not to and to be patient and wait for God to reveal to me what He wants....but the purpose.....as Oswald Chambers says, becomes more and more vague....
Oswald Chambers continues, ".....we have our own ideas as to what God’s purpose is. We say, “God means for me to go over there,” and, “God has called me to do this special work.” We do what we think is right, and yet the compelling purpose of God remains upon us. The work we do is of no account when compared with the compelling purpose of God. It is simply the scaffolding surrounding His work and His plan." So today.....here in Soyo......housebound with a cast on my leg for at least six more days.....what is my purpose? What is His reason for bringing Bryan and me here?
Remember, Bryan did not apply for a job here in Angola.....he applied for one in Kazakhstan, Bangladesh, Australia and Texas.....but he was offered a job here in Soyo, Angola..... To make it even more obvious that we were being sent here, Bryan was on a flight and could not be reached to confirm that he would accept this job....so it was accepted for him and his name was taken out of the other job possibilities......so we accept that this is where we are to be.....and the work is simply the scaffolding surrounding God's work and plan......and for Bryan, I can understand this thought.....and I am also aware that there is no wasted time in the kingdom of God..... Clearly we have both been 'taken aside' at this time......and this is exactly what Oswald Chambers is talking about...."God takes us aside all the time." I know that I desire to do what the Father sets in front of me to do.....even if it is waiting expectantly for His purpose to be revealed and in the mean time, continue writing and reflecting on what He has accomplished in the past.....even when I wasn't looking.....
There were years when I lived in Thailand and several of the ladies and I would get together and talk about...if only I had a job....a salary to call my own.....then I would be happy because I would be able to see my worth in the increase in responsibility and salary that would go with it..... Now you need to remember that when living as an expatriate generally there are such benefits as a driver, house help, possible cook, built in childcare....and so on.....so to think that I would only be REALLY happy if I was also employed....it is ridiculous...... Furthermore, when looking at this reading today.....what I am doing or what makes me happy isn't the point at all.....but I am just saying....this is what I spend time thinking about in relation to where I am right now. Oswald Chambers writes, "In the natural life our ambitions are our own, but in the Christian life we have no goals of our own. We talk so much today about our decisions for Christ, our determination to be Christians, and our decisions for this and that, but in the New Testament the only aspect that is brought out is the compelling purpose of God."
So what about those years in Indonesia, the Philippines, Thailand and now in Angola? Oswald Chambers continues, "We are not taken into a conscious agreement with God’s purpose— we are taken into God’s purpose with no awareness of it at all. We have no idea what God’s goal may be; as we continue, His purpose becomes even more and more vague." These words I can identify with well here in Soyo. I realize I continue to come back to what is happening right now....the delay and perhaps loss of the hope of working here with those at end of life.....to find a real purpose for being here..... I have already spent more than two years with the hope, in prayer, in searching to see a way of doing something of value here.....for God and the people that need the assistance.....and apparently....at this time.....this is not what I should be focusing on.....so I try not to and to be patient and wait for God to reveal to me what He wants....but the purpose.....as Oswald Chambers says, becomes more and more vague....
Oswald Chambers continues, ".....we have our own ideas as to what God’s purpose is. We say, “God means for me to go over there,” and, “God has called me to do this special work.” We do what we think is right, and yet the compelling purpose of God remains upon us. The work we do is of no account when compared with the compelling purpose of God. It is simply the scaffolding surrounding His work and His plan." So today.....here in Soyo......housebound with a cast on my leg for at least six more days.....what is my purpose? What is His reason for bringing Bryan and me here?
Remember, Bryan did not apply for a job here in Angola.....he applied for one in Kazakhstan, Bangladesh, Australia and Texas.....but he was offered a job here in Soyo, Angola..... To make it even more obvious that we were being sent here, Bryan was on a flight and could not be reached to confirm that he would accept this job....so it was accepted for him and his name was taken out of the other job possibilities......so we accept that this is where we are to be.....and the work is simply the scaffolding surrounding God's work and plan......and for Bryan, I can understand this thought.....and I am also aware that there is no wasted time in the kingdom of God..... Clearly we have both been 'taken aside' at this time......and this is exactly what Oswald Chambers is talking about...."God takes us aside all the time." I know that I desire to do what the Father sets in front of me to do.....even if it is waiting expectantly for His purpose to be revealed and in the mean time, continue writing and reflecting on what He has accomplished in the past.....even when I wasn't looking.....
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