Christmas in Pleiku

Over these past few days we have been remembering the reason for Christmas.....the birth of Jesus......as Oswald Chambers says, "He is not man becoming God, but God Incarnate— God coming into human flesh from outside it".  We are staying in Soyo, Angola, this Christmas....far from our children, grand child and other family members....and altho this is difficult for me even tho we can chat on the phone or on Skype, it has given me a chance to reflect on some of the other Christmas' I have spent away from family.  The one that comes most quickly to mind is the first and only one I spent in Pleiku, VietNam.

Remember I went to work in Pleiku with the Christian and Missionary Alliance....in their Leprosy Center.  I arrived there just after Christmas in 1973 and so had my first experience of how the Jarai hill tribe Christians celebrated.  The staff at the Leprosy Center had a tradition of putting on a play to tell the story of the birth of Christ Jesus.  They were amazing the amount of work learning their parts and getting the costumes just right.  I remember the one young man.....sadly I have forgotten his name...who was the angel.  He was the tallest and wore a white gown with the most magnificent and enormous wings I had ever seen....how I wish I had a photo but those are in storage.....someday I will put them on this blog....anyway, the wings were made of paper and each feather was of a separate small piece glued onto the frame.  You must realize that this young man had leprosy and therefore difficulty feeling his fingers.  King Herod was played by the delightful young man who called me Amai Sucret or Amai Goliath....and he had a beautiful shiny robe, crown and a knife for effect...  He used this knife to slash through the air when in the story he realized the kings were not going to come back and tell him where the young child was and he says, "I will kill him".  And finally there were two new characters in the story who were created by the story tellers.....Jessica and Matias....the innkeeper and his wife.....actually the wife had more of a part than the innkeeper, Matias.....but this tribe was a matriarchal society.  So the story began with the angel coming to Mary and Joseph to prepare them for the coming of Jesus....their traveling to Bethlehem and the kings meeting with Herod.  The tension of the story is building and Herod is enraged when he knows the kings from the east have outwitted him and he takes his knife, slashes the air and as he shouts his line, the blade of the knife comes off the handle and flies out into the audience.  Thankfully they had also created this as part of the costume so no one was injured and no one stepped out of character thus the play continued.  It was wonderful.....one of the women who had delivered a baby a few months earlier was Mary and had her baby as Jesus.

Why is this the memory that comes to mind year after year when we celebrate Christmas?  I believe it is because these wonderful people.....all leprosy patients themselves.....loved the Lord so much....loved to tell others about Him....and to be part of the story telling of His birth.....these people who by the worlds standards were disadvantaged, disabled, poorest of the poor....yet they were so happy and loved the Lord so much and it touched my heart then and still does 38 years later.  And I wonder if there is any moment in my interactions with others that is ever recalled as something that pointed to my love for God and as a witness of His love for me.  I am so thankful that God gave me the opportunity to have that Christmas in Pleiku......

God Likeness....Paul Utley

http://utmost.org/the-divine-commandment-of-life

This morning Bryan and I were sitting at the table finishing breakfast and talking about issues here in the community where we live.  Then Bryan began to read the devotional for today by Oswald  Chambers.  We were both stunned at how it caught us and convicted us about our conversation.....  Oswald Chambers writes, "Our Lord’s exhortation to us in Matthew 5:38-48 is to be generous in our behavior toward everyone. Beware of living according to your natural affections in your spiritual life. Everyone has natural affections— some people we like and others we don’t like. Yet we must never let those likes and dislikes rule our Christian life. “If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another” (1 John 1:7), even those toward whom we have no affection."  Furthermore, he continues, "The true expression of Christian character is not in good-doing, but in God-likeness."

Immediately our thoughts went to a dear friend, Paul Utley.  Paul and Judy live in Thailand where they work for Campus Crusade for Christ.  He works on the Jesus film which is translated into many languages and sent around the world for people to hear in their own tongue.  It is a wonderful ministry and I even brought DVD's in Portuguese and the local dialects for the churches to use here in Angola.

The reason I think of Paul when I read today's devotional is because he is a man that is driven not by a desire to show goodness....but he has walked with the Lord for such a long time and so closely, it is now his nature.  I remember years ago when someone came to Bangkok to have a marriage seminar.  Paul, our assistant pastor at the time, came to the meeting.  The leader asked him to role play the part of an angry spouse that would not work things out in the marriage.  We all suggested that he not be the one to role play this because it is so against his nature.  The leader insisted and it was painful for the rest of us to witness.  Paul is not a man that even can role play as an angry man...... because he is a man of peace and gentleness and kindness.  Paul never looks to elevate himself...to stand up for his own rights....to have people look at him and marvel at a man who has given his life to serving his Lord.....he just quietly works and does what needs to be done....working tirelessly and is renewed through the work.

I remember years ago when Paul came back to the USA to work to renew funding.  He went were he was sent and shared what God was doing....and did not seem to worry at all about the ramifications of not having sufficient funds.  He trusted that God would provide....and you know, God does provide....and he hasn't wasted energy and sleep over worrying that maybe this time, God will not come through and meet the needs.....

Paul and Judy have raised two wonderful children, Hilary and Christopher.  They too have watched their father and mother and I am sure these kids are so dear because of what they have seen lived out in their parent's lives... as Oswald Chambers writes, " If the Spirit of God has transformed you within, you will exhibit divine characteristics in your life, not just good human characteristics. God’s life in us expresses itself as God’s life, not as human life trying to be godly. The secret of a Christian’s life is that the supernatural becomes natural in him as a result of the grace of God, and the experience of this becomes evident in the practical, everyday details of life, not in times of intimate fellowship with God"

Reflecting on Paul and the intimate relationship he clearly has with God that brings into and through him the reflecting of God in all circumstances....his continual calmness in all circumstances.....causes me to long even more for this permeation of God likeness in me....Oswald Chambers writes, "The example our Lord gave us here is not that of a good person, or even of a good Christian, but of God Himself. “. . . be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.” In other words, simply show to the other person what God has shown to you...... And God will give you plenty of real life opportunities to prove whether or not you are “perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.” Being a disciple means deliberately identifying yourself with God’s interests in other people.".....loving them and being patient as God is with me......

Costas Macris, Man of Faith

http://utmost.org/arguments-or-obedience

Immediately upon reading this writing by Oswald Chambers, Bryan and I remembered a wonderful Greek missionary family we met in Indonesia, Costas and Alky Macris.  

Bryan was working for World Vision at this time in his life and was the Relief and Development Coordinator for all of the Indonesian islands.  He would travel frequently around Java, Kalimantan (Borneo), Sumatra, and Irian Jaya also known as West Irian and now known as West Papua.  

World Vision was trying to assist in community development in the areas of Irian Jaya in a holistic manner which included economic development with the missionary outreach.  The missionaries in Irian Jaya located in several of the highland areas and were somewhat resistant to this development.  Through the vision of Dr. Jerry Powell of the Un-evangelized Fields Mission (UFM), there was a large project started to bring livestock into the area.  Also, Jim Sunda of the Christian and Missionary Alliance.The staples in the highlands was manioc and pork and the health problems were significant with malnutrition and disease from improperly cooked pork.  

Bryan also met with the RBMU missionary, Costas Macris.  Bryan fondly recalls what an incredible visionary Costas was.  He immediately saw the value of the community development and said, "How can I tell someone that God loves them and they are dying of malnutrition and disease?"  

Costas and his family lived in a very difficult part of Irian Jaya......the low lands.  Bryan and I went to visit them and I was shocked to see the area.  I wish I had my photos to share because it was really incredible. I did find this photo online of Costas and some of the tribes people. The area is a swamp full of mosquitos, malaria, dengue fever, water diseases and river flukes that can enter the body if you spend time in the water and permanently damage your body.  The local people found ways to earn money by poaching crocodiles and selling the skins.  

The village groups were very small and one tribe would live on one side of the river and another, with another language, on the opposite side.  The people were also not very friendly at this time......due to superstition....but Costas came with love and a real desire to reach through the fears of the people and present Jesus Christ.

I remember thinking how amazing this man and his family were to be in such a difficult place.  We had visited the beauty of the highland areas and this was a stark contrast.  Costas and his family were the only missionaries we met there except two delightful single missionary women.  He did tell us that there were Wycliff Bible Translators in the area also.

We went with Costas to visit different tribal groups where he was working some with only a few families.  We went by Mission Aviation Fellowship (MAF) Cessna plane and would land in some of the smallest landing strips I had ever seen. I remember one place we stopped and a huge local man came and stood, resting his arm over the wing of the plane.  He was a alligator poacher and extremely fit.  The pilot kept saying....quietly, "Please don't break my plane.....don't break my plane".  There was no ill intent but it was very funny....

A man with his bow and arrows

At one of the stops there was a young man with his bow and arrows for hunting.  I had been collecting arrows of different types as a keepsake.  This man had a totally different arrow without a point...the tip was like a club and Costas said that the man would shoot the arrow and stun the bird.....then he could capture it.  I asked if I could buy this unique arrow and Costas asked the man.  I gave him a fair price of Indonesian Rupiah paper money.....and he sat down and just looked at it as we left.  I realized it had no real value to him at all.  There was nothing to buy in this area.  Costas told me later that a coin with the shine would have been better because it could be worn as jewelry.   

After we returned to the mission station I asked Costas to explain the markings on the arrow made in what appeared to be white paint......he said, this is were the witch doctor made markings to make sure the arrow would fly true and hit it's mark when used.  Now this caused me a great deal of concern.  How could I keep in my home something that had been blessed by the witch doctor?  Would this be wrong to keep? I decided to give the arrow back to Costas and when I explained why, he answered so directly....."So is your God not stronger than the witch doctor here?  If that is true, then you should give me the arrow but if God is stronger, then you should keep it."  After saying this and without pause he walked away and left me to think.   I still have the arrow in storage in the USA.   

Oswald Chambers writes, "Simplicity is the secret to seeing things clearly. A saint does not think clearly until a long time passes, but a saint ought to see clearly without any difficulty. You cannot think through spiritual confusion to make things clear; to make things clear, you must obey."  When I think of the simplicity of Costas' faith and his absolute trust in God no matter where it took him....I realize how blessed I am to have had a chance to meet and spend time with such a wonderful man.  And when I think of Alky, his wife, I marvel at her willingness to go to such a hard place with her children and live there for the sake of the Gospel of Christ.  

I have attached a short history of Costas Macris from Helienic Ministries.  It will describe the incredible journey that Costas lived as he followed the Lord.     

"In 1962, Costas and Alky became the first Greek couple to become foreign missionaries, serving under the auspices of Regions Beyond Missionary Union (RBMU).  Their assignment: Irian Jaya-a lush tropical wilderness with dangerous, craggy mountains, cannibalistic Stone Age tribes and a breeding ground for tropical diseases.   

Despite these hardships, their years in Irian Jaya were fruitful for the Lord.  Overcoming the dangers, God allowed them to see spiritual breakthroughs and the church was planted in 12 different tribal groups.  Their accomplishments also include the establishment of 22 nationally staffed settlements with homes, airstrips, clinics, schools and other facilities.

In 1979, after 16 years of ministry in the primitive culture and wild surroundings of Irian Jaya, disaster struck! Costas contracted a deadly form of hepatitis, complicated by the tropical diseases of amoebic dysentery, malaria, and filariasis. He was rushed to a St. Louis, Missouri hospital where the doctors found extensive liver damage. The prognosis was imminent death. God, however, had other plans. Through the prayers of concerned friends, God healed him of every trace of all four diseases and he experienced a complete recovery, to the glory of God.

At this time Costas began seeking God earnestly for new direction, as the doctors had forbidden him to return to Irian Jaya. Throughout this year of intensive prayer, God reminded him of the spiritual needs of his own country-Greece. Costas understood then that he must return to his own people to rekindle the light of Christ's saving gospel. Why? In this ancient land of proud heritage, hardened hearts and superstition, Greek Orthodoxy had all but lost the true message of the Gospel. In obedience to God's challenge, Costas and Alky returned to their homeland. In 1980, the first national Greek evangelistic and missionary organization, the Hellenic Missionary Union (HMU-now HM) was born under Costas' able leadership.

The work grew quickly during the first five years. Costas immediately began doing large open-air evangelism programs, something that had never been done in modern Greece. Many in the tiny and marginalized evangelical community assumed he would be locked up for trying, as the Greek Orthodox Church exerted seemingly monolithic control over society, and the State of Greece has restrictive laws against proselytism. Against all expectations, the Summer Campaigns were not stopped-in fact, their blend of loud contemporary Christian music, street theatre and passionate preaching drew huge crowds and proved to be an effective means of communicating the gospel to masses of people.

Initially relying on large numbers of short-term foreign volunteers, Greek evangelical youth soon came forward to join Campaigns. Since the objective was not just evangelism but to change the course of a nation, this opened the second phase of HM's ongoing work-discipleship and training.

However, as the fledgling mission saw some fruit being born, 'disaster' struck again. While doing an open-air program with YWAM (Youth with a Mission) in 1984, Costas handed a 14-year old boy a New Testament. His mother, a fanatical atheist, used the anti-proselytism laws to press charges and Costas, along with two YWAM directors, were sentenced to three and a half years in prison!

What Satan intended for harm, God used for good. Freed for a year pending his appeal, Costas used the time to travel the world to let people abroad know of the spiritual conditions in Greece. By the time the appeal came to court, international media attention was focused on the trial, and the sentences were overturned. In addition, Costas had also been given a 17 meter (55 ft) steel-hulled sailboat to use in ministry to the islands, new workers had been recruited, and God's people on several continents were praying."

http://www.hellenicministries.com/pages/en/AboutUs/OurBeginnings.html

Costas died in 2006.  His life touched so many in Irian Jaya and Greece and around the world.  Oswald Chambers writes, "Bring all your “....arguments and . . . every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ” regarding the matter, and everything will become as clear as daylight to you (2 Corinthians 10:5). Your reasoning capacity will come later, but reasoning is not how we see. We see like children, and when we try to be wise we see nothing (see Matthew 11:25)......when our natural power of sight is devoted and submitted in obedience to the Holy Spirit, it becomes the very power by which we perceive God’s will, and our entire life is kept in simplicity."

Pleiku, Vietnam...Reaching across Conflicts

http://utmost.org/missionary-weapons-2

As I read the Bible portion of the devotional today, I immediately think of my time in Pleiku, Vietnam, at the Leprosy Center.  In John 13:14, Jesus has just washed the feet of His disciples before the last supper and He says, "If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet".  I think of the Leprosy Center because it was there that I watched day after day one leprosy patient who was a trained worker, wash and clean out ulcers of the feet of patients in the center.  And as I watched them, there was no disgust nor aversion in the work but they would talk and laugh together as they preformed this task.  As I have stated before, this foot wash room was foul smelling many times but this didn't seem to bother the workers.  The sweet attitudes of these workers would raise the spirit of the patients that were too ill to remain at home and needed to come to the center for treatment. 

One day around lunch time I was alone with the staff and patients at the Leprosy Center.  Remember, this center was outside of town.....quite a distance.  The South Vietnamese army had built anti tank trenches around the city of Pleiku to keep the North Vietnamese army from riding across the open fields to the town.  They could use the roads but nevertheless, there was a huge project to dig this trench to protect the city and our leprosy center was outside of the trench.  Now this did not make us feel any less secure...and only for a short time this one day did I feel any anxiety at being there with no vehicle and no way to get back to town.  But this particular day, the Vietnamese pharmacist came to me very afraid and said I must hide.  He said that there were North Vietnamese soldiers outside the center and he did not want anything to happen to me.  I went to a room and sat on the floor.  After some time when no one came into any of the rooms looking for me, I snuck to the window and looked out and saw 3 young men, clothing in tatters, and they were so thin.....like they were starving.  I saw the workers giving them rice and fish and water and then the soldiers left after about half an hour.  Everyone came in to where I was and explained that these soldiers were lost from their unit and had not eaten in several days.  That is why they had come to the center......they were so hungry and  needed someone to reach out to them....even though they were the enemy at this time.  

Oswald Chambers writes, "Ministering in everyday opportunities that surround us does not mean that we select our own surroundings— it means being God’s very special choice to be available for use in any of the seemingly random surroundings which He has engineered for us. The very character we exhibit in our present surroundings is an indication of what we will be like in other surroundings......Jesus said, “I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you”."  The workers were kind and loving to these men who came for food.  They did not differentiate between sides in a conflict...they only saw people in need and extended kindness to them as Jesus did......their only fear was what would happen if I was found to be there......and this, thank God, was no real issue at all.   

Preparation in the Quiet Times

http://utmost.org/missionary-weapons-1

Oswald Chambers starts this reading with the following.  "We presume that we would be ready for battle if confronted with a great crisis, but it is not the crisis that builds something within us— it simply reveals what we are made of already.....If you are not doing the task that is closest to you now, which God has engineered into your life, when the crisis comes, instead of being fit for battle, you will be revealed as being unfit. Crises always reveal a person’s true character."  As soon as I read this I was convicted on several levels.  

First, Portuguese language study to be able to be prepared to work in the community.....I have a house girl that comes to iron and clean twice weekly.  This was started when I had my leg in a cast due to a knee injury and she is continuing.  She is 24 years old has 3 children ages 8 to 2 and her husband is unemployed.  She is continuing to go to school trying to complete the 4th grade.  She needs the income and I enjoy the company at home.  We were attempting to communicate....with pantomime and Google Translate....but I must sound out the words because she doesn't read well and the Portuguese is Brazilian not from Portugal so has some differences.  As we were attempting to talk together, she asked what my work was and I told her I am a nurse.  Also that I had visited Cabinda, Angola to try to work in palliative care there and again tried to get this started here in Soyo, Angola, and she with the innocence of a child said, "but you must study Portuguese first".  Now I am studying because I knew what she was saying....but it was a real reminder of how my laziness in the area of language study is obvious even to this young girl.  

The second thing that I thought of was the writing of this blog.  I have not written for the past week.  Why?  I can tell you that it is because none of the daily devotionals of Oswald Chambers fit with the stories I have from my life.....and on the surface, this is true.....but I believe that I am writing these stories to have something for my children and grandchildren as well as to take the time to reflect on not just where God has taken me through my life and lessons I have learned on the way.....but how those lessons can help me where I am today.  It takes time to think, pray, and wait for the right story to come to my mind.....and instead I have been watching TV and spending time thinking about and discussing the difficulties of life here.....and this is an easy way to fill my time.....but is not of value to me or to the purpose of leaving this for my kids......  

Oswald Chambers continues, "It is in the unseen life, which only God saw, that you have become perfectly fit. And when the strain of the crisis comes, you can be relied upon by God."  Now this is a real thought.....that I can be relied on by God......and this is a real motivator for me to focus again on the work of reflecting on the stories of my unusual journey and putting them down for the future.  God has taken me through many crisis and in those times it is much easier to stay close to Him and trust in Him.....it is in the mundane, boring, quiet times of life that cause me to drift away and not continue to stay close.....and I know that there are other situations that I will encounter that I want to be ready for......and not find that I have been less than I should be at that time.  "If your worship is right in your private relationship with God, then when He sets you free, you will be ready."

The Story of the Nail.....Answered Prayer

http://utmost.org/the-purpose-of-prayer

I have already written some of the history of Hubert Mitchell.  Years ago I heard him tell the story of "The Nail".  Daniel, his son, also sent it to me and I want to share it in this posting.  It is a remarkable story of faith and God's faithfulness. 

The year was 1934 and for some years there had been a move of God's Spirit on the West Coast under the ministry of Amie Semple McPherson at Angelus Temple located in the Echo Park area of Los Angeles and the same was happening in the Mid West under the ministry of Paul Rader.

"I don't want to go there Lord, I am part of a great move of God here in Kansas. The Kubus are over in the middle of the jungle in a nowhere country and I am here and God is Blessing the ministry of Paul Rader and he has given  Helen and me an important part in the music ministry. The people enjoy Helen's lovely voice and the they also enjoy my accordion, piano playing and song leading and they say Helen and I make good music together. Anyway there are others who said they would go and that is good enough for me.  Yes Lord, I heard what R.A.Jaffrey said about the Kubu Tribes and that they need to hear the Gospel, but people here in America need to hear too and that is why I am here doing Your work Lord, you do understand don't you? And one more thing, I have a wife and a two year old son and what would people think of me taking them out to the wild jungle and maybe having some terrible disease come over them and they die....what would people think of me? Also, I hear there are wild animals out there too Lord, what do you think of that?"

Such was the battle that raged in the heart and spirit of  Hubert Mitchell. There was no letup and he could not free himself from those nagging words of R.A. Jaffrey of the Christian & Missionary Alliance Mission spoken some months previous at a missions conference...."Hubert, how can you tell the Gospel story over and over again to people who have heard it hundreds of times and yet there are thousands who have never heard it once.  Hubert, the Lord is calling you and He will not let you go." 

After a series of meetings and then traveling onto another meeting, they were passing through Arkansas Kansas when he spotted a small church off to the side of the road. Pulling in front he knew he had to get free once and for all. Hubert with Helen following opened the door and knocked on the door marked "office" and walking in asked to speak to the Pastor. After introducing themselves he asked the Pastor if he would pray for the two of them. After a brief explanation of his inner  struggle, the Pastor laid hands on them both and  prayed.  After the Pastor's  prayer, Hubert happened to glance up on the wall above the Pastor's desk and spied a plaque with a poem written on it. He got up to see it more clearly and saw that it was written by Annie Johnson Flint.  Intrigued with the words He asked the Pastor if he could take it down to look at it and then asked if there was a piano in the sanctuary. With the Pastor's permission, he sat down at the piano and started to play.

The words and notes seemed to blend into melody and harmony as Hubert's fingers spanned the piano keys and before he knew it, the Lord had given him the music to the words of a poem written by Annie Johnson Flint with the title.."He Giveth More Grace"  Turning on the piano stool to face his wife seated behind him, he queried..."Helen do you feel the same as I do? Are you willing to go to the Kubu Tribes in Indonesia?  The Lord has called us and we need to be obedient to His Call."  And so the battle had turned and in a relatively short span of time the three of them, Hubert, Helen and little David Mitchell set out by ocean steamer under the Christian & Missionary Alliance Mission and arrived in Sumatra Indonesia.

After settling his small family down to a regulated schedule, language study and getting used to this new culture was one of Hubert's first priorities. A rudimentary grasp of the Malay language came as he listened, enjoined  words and phrases with the local populace and soon he was speaking to small groups of Christians in their homes and churches.  On one occasion he went to one of the Dutch government officials and in some strange way received written permission to witness to the Malay Muslims. Unbeknownst to him this was against the law, but his witness was so effective the local Iman protested and the permission paper was revoked.  Because of this opposition, the door officially  opened for the ministry to the Kubus Tribes, an official Animist group. Along with Tobing his "Man Friday" and other Brothers, forayers into the thick jungles began. 

On one of those forayers just after sunrise, Hubert dropped over to the toko, (small shop) and took some canned sardines and dried fish from the shelf and some cans of Mandarin oranges for desert. After paying the owner and passing on some words of encouragement to him the group set out for the trail which would take them deeper into the jungle than they had gone before. This day was particularly hot and the humidity was oppressive and it seemed that not much headway was being made.  The saw grass seemed particularly tough as the group hacked their way through with their parangs (long knives)....when suddenly they come onto a clearing. The triple canopy tree growth gave no warning, but here it was!  The people who were around suddenly took off when they saw this white man, but Tobing persuaded the Chief who had a parang that he, Hubert had come from a long distance with a wonderful message called "Good News" for him and his people.

Taking a cue from Tobing, Hubert began to tell the story from the Gospels how Jesus Christ came into the world as a miracle baby, grew up like any man  and because of the miracles He did and the things He said, the religious rulers were jealous of him. They condemned him to die and nailed this man Jesus to a cross (salib). Hubert asked one of the Brothers to cut down a sapling and then with the same parang, cut it in two. Cutting down some rattan, thin jungle ratan vine, he tied the two pieces together forming a cross. As more people gathered around him and all this time telling the crucifixion story, he laid down on the cross and with his hands making  motions,  told the people surrounding him looking on with great interest that the soldiers nailed Jesus' hands and feet to the cross. As he went on with the story.... .

Suddenly from the middle of the crowd rang a question from the Chief..."what is a nail'? Taken aback Hubert lay there trying to explain what a nail (paku) was. As he talked, the people started to pull away from where he was lying. "Don't go, there must be a nail  somewhere around here" Hubert intoned.  Again the question came from the crowd but this time more pointed and insistent..."what is a nail?!" The more he tried, the more the crowd dispersed with muttering until finally no one was there except for some curious boys, Tobing and the Brothers and Hubert searched his pockets and nap sack and asked the others to do the same, but no nail.

Dejected and frustrated Hubert asked the men to prepare some rice for lunch and with a prayer and a plea for a miracle they sat down to eat rice and dried fish with some canned sardines.  As he slowly ate with a spoon, these thoughts flooded into his mind..."Oh Lord You brought me all this way from the US for this? What will Tobing and the Brothers think of me now? Lord what about all these people who are left hanging in the air?" After the meal and grabbing for his nap sack and at the same time reached in took out one of the cans of oranges for desert and pouring them onto his plate was ready to toss the can to a group of the small boys who were eying this strange white man eating....when he heard a rattle and opening the can further he looked inside and there on the bottom of the can was a nail!

Grasping the nail in his right hand and jumping to his feet at the same time Hubert ran yelling  out as loud as he could..."this is a nail!....this is a nail!  this is a nail! This is what they put into the hands of Jesus! He ran to the Chief's hut and up the notched log he literally bounded. meeting the Chief coming down. He grabbed the Chief's hand and pushed the point into his palm..."this is what a nail feels like and this is what they did to Jesus!"  He then grabbed the back of the Chief's hand and taking the nail scratched the dark skin. "Don't make my hand sick!" cried  the Chief. Calling everyone back to the center of the clearing the Chief asked Hubert to tell the crucifixion story again. As he retold the story how the agony and tragedy of the Father was such to see His only Son die and become SIN himself, for everyones sin. When suddenly the people started to weep with deep sobs and tears flowing down their cheeks creating little rivulets of moist skin. Tobing, Hubert and the Brothers came around and hugged the people in small groups and told them God loved them so much and how their sins could be forgiven and their hearts cleansed from their SINS. With the Chief leading,  Tobing led the people in a prayer of confession of SIN and repentance. They knew they were sinners, convicted by the power of the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ.  Hubert then went on with the story of the Lord Jesus' Resurrection from death and that He appeared to over 500 people to prove His Power and Heavenly Glory. The Assention was told and then the Command to go out to others with this message and make disciples of all nations...."and this is why I am here to tell you this story" Hubert went on.

Suddenly the Chief turned and up the notched log to his hut he ran and coming back with two large baskets in his hands he said to Hubert..."when you see Jesus give these to Him. They are my most precious possessions and I was going to sell them to Chinese traders for knives and things we could use, but I want to give these to Jesus." The baskets were filled with bear and tiger claws, animals  which he had killed in close encounters with a homemade spear. Hubert explained that Jesus was not here on earth, but in Heaven and now he, his Family and tribe would be there with Jesus one day.  "But I want to give something to Him!" said the Chief. "But you did" replied Hubert, "you just gave Him your heart and life and that is what Jesus Christ wants and not only that, He wants you to tell others what you have just heard.".......

Oswald Chambers writes,  "Ask, and you will receive . . .” (John 16:24). We complain before God, and sometimes we are apologetic or indifferent to Him, but we actually ask Him for very few things. Yet a child exhibits a magnificent boldness to ask! Our Lord said, “. . . unless you . . . become as little children . . .” (Matthew 18:3). Ask and God will do. Give Jesus Christ the opportunity and the room to work. The problem is that no one will ever do this until he is at his wits’ end. When a person is at his wits’ end, it no longer seems to be a cowardly thing to pray; in fact, it is the only way he can get in touch with the truth and the reality of God Himself. Be yourself before God and present Him with your problems— the very things that have brought you to your wits’ end."  This story from Hubert Mitchell's life is such a blessing....and excellent reminder to ask God for the things we need.....and expecting He will answer as we need!

Life Choices

http://utmost.org/i-indeed-but-He

I am writing this blog for my children and grand children.....and I want to be honest and open about the journey God has taken me on to surrender to Him in all things.  Not all the stories I have to relate will show me in the best light.....if fact, it is the ugly things that show the transformation that has occurred over the years and continues each day.....and should be an encouragement to you as walk through your own lives.....falling down over and over isn't the issue.....it's the getting back up, learning, growing and submitting to God from each fall that develops you..

While I was in high school I had a boyfriend, Leigh Twa.  He was a kind young man and loved me dearly.  He was in the Navy and part of my infatuation with him was that he would go overseas for 6 months at a time and I could send him care packages and write long letters.  It fit so well into my romantic personality at that time.

Upon returning from one of his voyages he and several of his friends bought motorcycles.  They then went to Hell's Angels and got permission to start their own club.....'The Caretakers'.  By this time I was in college studying nursing and I loved it on the weekends when he and his friends would come and stay at my parents home and we would ride up and down the coast of California.  Leigh had a beautiful Harely Davidson bike that had been chopped and was very cool looking.  

Interestingly and not surprisingly being in this 'club' began to change the people we hung out with and where we spent our time.  Truthfully, the desire to ride with these guys was changing me because I needed to hide from my parents how I was living and where I would stay at times.  This was very difficult for me because I loved my parents very much but the thrill of the ride was enchanting at the time.  

One weekend we had travelled to San Deigo to hang out and ride.  Leigh was very protective of me and kept watch that I would be safe.  We slept in the garage of one of the members and after breakfast, road to a bar around noon.  When we went into the bar, some of the guys began knocking over tables and intimidating the patrons.  It was like something you would see in a movie.  I went outside and Leigh came with me.  Shortly afterward several of the other members came out and we went to one of their farms in the area.  Everyone began to gravitate to the barn to 'get loaded'.  I sat by the bikes to wait and began reflecting on how I was living......  I liked the time of riding down the roads and having people look at us and seem to notice us.....but this weekend I was sleeping in a garage on the floor and we had just left a bar at noon where the intent had been to intimidate and frighten the people there....and I thought.....What am I doing?  Where is this going to lead?  Why am I seeking such a dangerous lifestyle?  I felt this incredible sense of shame at what was happening in the bar and in the direction of my life.

I remember that my mother used to tell me that in each situation I question whether I should be there, I should ask myself......as a Christian.....is Jesus glad to be with me here?  Am I making Him proud of my choices?  Definitely, the answer that day was......No!!!!

When it was noticed that I was not in the barn with the others, Leigh came to find me.  He was rather disgusted at my not joining in......Since I had ridden to San Deigo with him, I asked him to take me to the bus and I could go home......he wouldn't allow that and took me back to Los Angeles himself.  I never wanted to come to San Deigo and ride with these men again.....in fact, this event caused me such disgust at the direction of my life, it changed the relationship with Leigh and began the decline that eventually ended our relationship.....  

Oswald Chambers writes, "....I indeed am at the end, and I cannot do anything more— but He (God) begins right there— He does the things that no one else can ever do. Am I prepared for His coming? Jesus cannot come and do His work in me as long as there is anything blocking the way, whether it is something good or bad. When He comes to me, am I prepared for Him to drag every wrong thing I have ever done into the light? That is exactly where He comes. Wherever I know I am unclean is where He will put His feet and stand.....Repentance does not cause a sense of sin— it causes a sense of inexpressible unworthiness."

This focus on my behavior was one of the things that caused me to begin looking to where I could serve the Lord....and be away from these influences and the disgusting life I was living at that time.....and although my journey to Vietnam was not wholly to serve Him, it was a factor in my decision....and definitely was going to be a place where God changed me in many ways to be open to His leading.....

Dear children and grand children when you find yourselves in a situation you are needing to hide from your parents.....and you think that you may be able to fool them....this will be true sometimes....but God sees all....and He is the one it is most important to honor with your life.....Remember, everywhere you go and in all you do, you take Jesus with you......so is He proud of what you are choosing?

Hubert Mitchell, Man of Prayer

http://utmost.org/prayer—-battle-in-the-secret-place

As soon as I read this devotional from Oswald Chambers I immediately thought of one person.  Since reflecting on it longer I think of more but I want to just write a little about the amazing man who impacted my life because of his prayer life.  I'm speaking of Hubert Mitchell.

Hubert has a wonderful history of serving the Lord with all his heart. Through his son, Daniel, I have part of Hubert's history to share with you.

Hubert was born in 1907.  He married Helen Pomeroy in the 1930's.  They met in Bible school.  They worked together for Paul Rader, an evangelist in the Midwest.  Hubert was the music director, played the accordion and piano and led the music.  He and Helen sang duets together and Helen, solos.  

In 1934, Hubert and Helen made the decision to go to Indonesia as missionaries to the Kubu Tribe of south Sumatra.  It as also at this time of decision that Hubert saw words on a pastor's wall plaque and wrote the hymn, "He Giveth More Grace".

He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase,
To added affliction He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.

His love has no limit, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men,
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus,
He giveth and giveth and giveth again.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half-done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,
Our Father's full giving is only begun.

Source: http://www.hymnal.net/hymn.php/nt/723#ixzz1W1wVwCgu

  In 1940 Helen died three days after giving birth to Jean.  This left Hubert with 4 children in a very remote area of Indonesia.  Daniel says that the words to this hymn gave great comfort to Hubert during those days.

In 1942, Hubert heard from his brother in law, David Morken, that Pearl Harbor had been attacked.  This was followed with the news that the Japanese Imperial Army was marching down the Malayan Archipelago.  R.A. Jaffery, the head of the Missionary Alliance Mission left the decision whether to leave to be made by each missionary serving there.  Hubert with the children and a group of other missionaries decided to evacuate....reluctantly.

From 1942-1944 Hubert ministered as Chaplain with the Victory Service Club connected with the Union Rescue Mission.  He started Saturday Night Jubilee at Church of the Open Door.....a future Youth for Christ group.  He remarried to Rachel in 1944.

1946 he left Saturday Night Jubilee with David Morken and others and moved to Karwi, India where Rachel had lived for 20 years.  Here he started India Youth For Christ and worked with that until 1951. He worked at the head office of Youth For Christ in Wheaton, Illinois from 1952-1954 and then left to start Inter-Church Ministries in Chicago with Bible Studies and early morning prayer groups in business offices in Chicago's Loop and other places.

Finally in 1965, Hubert moved to Los Angeles again to help his mother who was running a sending mission organization, Go Ye Fellowship.  This you will remember is the mission organization that sent me first to Vietnam in 1971.  Hubert continued his life of reaching out to people for the Lord and started an organization that was renamed, Christians in Government, in Los Angeles and worked with this group from 1971-1992.   Hubert died in 1995 and went home to be with the Lord.

As I write an abbreviated history of Hubert's life I marvel that God had our lives intersect.  I am sure Hubert prayed about my going to Vietnam and prayed for me while I was there.  When Bryan and I were married in 1976, Hubert was the pastor that we asked to officiate for that event.  I remember when he told the homily he really got into the story of my leaving Vietnam, "with one baby under each arm"....artistic license....but delightful....  We had the privilege of hearing him sing his song, "He Giveth More Grace" at the Bible study in my parent's home on more than one occasion....and I was unaware of how this hymn had lifted him in the dark days of his life following the Lord.

When Bryan and I were first going out to work with World Vision in Indonesia, we met with Hubert at his home and he prayed for us and sent us with his blessing.  It was there that I learned about his prayer closet...where he and Rachel would go at different times during the day and pray for those God laid on their hearts.  It was such an encouragement to know that as we left together for life in a new place, they were not going to forget us and pray for us to remain where God wanted.... doing what He had planned for us.....  

Oswald Chambers writes, "Having a secret stillness before God means deliberately shutting the door on our emotions and remembering Him. God is in secret, and He sees us from “the secret place”— He does not see us as other people do, or as we see ourselves. When we truly live in “the secret place,” it becomes impossible for us to doubt God. We become more sure of Him than of anyone or anything else."   This is how Hubert Mitchell walked with the Lord and because of this, he has left a lasting legacy in many places around the world.....that bring glory to God even today. What joy there is in the lives of many because he trusted God and went wherever he was sent.

Living Devotion to God

http://utmost.org/are-you-discouraged-or-devoted

This entry by Oswald Chambers is very difficult to read.  It makes me stop and think......when are the times I have heard something very hard from God and ignored it......or diminished it.....and made it less than the starkness of His demand for total surrender to Him.....with the giving up of everything else that I would place before Him in my life.  Then there is the reminder that Jesus never cajoled anyone to come to follow Him....He never made the narrowness of the path to righteousness easy to follow.....in fact, He continually warned that things would be rough.....and only a few will really walk His way......and today this reading is such a reminder of what He meant.

I have had friends that have questioned, "How can God be a loving God and ask Abraham to sacrifice his son?"  This is a question that is genuinely being asked because from my standpoint as a parent, it is something that is absolutely abhorrent to even think about.  Sacrificing my child for anyone.  

When our children were born we took each one to our pastor and had them dedicated to the Lord.  What this meant to us was that we were recognizing that God had blessed us with the beautiful baby to care for and raise.......and we wanted to recognize outwardly that we were giving the baby back to God......  We would do our best with our children to teach and mentor them but we realized they were a temporary gift.......on loan from God... and their lives were His......

When we took Jeremy, our first born, in and the pastor asked if we realized the fact that our children were on loan only but belonged to God to do with as He saw fit......we answered, yes.....and then he asked us to tell God that we were giving our child back to Him at this moment....trusting Him with the life of our baby.  I have to say that I paused....it was not easy.....we loved Jeremy so much and the idea that maybe God might actually take him from us......  We were stating right then that it was our sacrifice of love and trust in God who had given us this baby to give him back.....it was so hard.....but the truth is that we have no control over many things that come into our children's lives and God does.....so why am I thinking I can somehow hold any of our children and protect them better then their heavenly Father?  We repeated this dedication with each of our three children and it was never something we did lightly because we loved each of them so much....

Oswald Chambers in writing about the rich young ruler says, "."Jesus did not show the least concern that this rich young ruler should do what He told him, nor did Jesus make any attempt to keep this man with Him. He simply said to him, “Sell all that you have . . . and come, follow Me.” Our Lord never pleaded with him; He never tried to lure him— He simply spoke the strictest words that human ears have ever heard, and then left him alone....And Jesus did not go after him, but let him go. Our Lord knows perfectly well that once His word is truly heard, it will bear fruit sooner or later."  The rich young ruler needed to give up everything and follow Jesus....his valued possession was riches.....ours is the love for our children.  Finally he ends this reading with these words that are so encouraging and so gentle, "I wonder what we will say when we finally make up our minds to be devoted to Him on that particular point? One thing is certain— He will never throw our past failures back in our faces."

Resting in God

http://utmost.org/the-theology-of-resting-in-God

Our family moved to Thailand as residents in 1992.  We expected to be there for about 5 years and then would move to another place with World Vision.  After Jeremy's accident in 1993 we knew that we did not want to move until the children had graduated from the International School in Bangkok.  Jeremy had such wonderful support at the school, Justin was two years behind Jeremy and had been there since 5th grade and Amanda was further behind but had been at the school since 2nd grade.  It was a great surprise when we were told that since Bryan had completed his job of setting up Indochina (Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos) and Myanmar (Burma) with field directors that were now autonomous....we were going to be moved to Africa.  Jeremy still needed the supports that were so readily available at the school in Bangkok and we believed that we needed to stay there.  Therefore, Bryan resigned from World Vision after nearly 19 1/2 years.   

This was a difficult separation for me.  Throughout the time we had been in the USA with Jeremy in rehabilitation I had received a phone call daily from Sheryl Watkins to encourage us.  To me World Vision was like a family and the loss of that was very difficult.  But moving from Bangkok before the children finished school was unacceptable.  

Bryan worked for some time with an import company selling furniture.....then the economy crashed and this company withdrew from Thailand.  Finally Bryan was hired by Unocal.....an oil company as their director of Organization Development.  It was a wonderful job for him and he loved working there with all the staff.  

Now through each of those changes although I had felt great anxiety, I also felt such confidence that God would work things out for us to care of our children and provide for them....most of the time.  

A new director had come to Unocal and within a short time the department of Organization Development was to be closed.  Bryan was called in and told that his services would no longer be needed.  By this time Jeremy had finished school and Justin was nearing the end of his college education.  Amanda was just starting college and finding the adjustment to the USA a difficult one.  She had lived in Thailand for 10 years and returning to her passport country and going to school with all strangers was an adjustment.....it had been for each of the children but it was quite difficult for her....   Oswald Chambers writes, "When we are afraid, the least we can do is pray to God. But our Lord has a right to expect that those who name His name have an underlying confidence in Him.  God expects His children to be so confident in Him that in any crisis they are the ones who are reliable."

We stayed in Thailand for several months seeing if there was a new job for Bryan.  It seemed to make sense since he speaks several South East Asian languages.  But God had other plans.....so on July 4, 2004, we returned to the USA....with no job.....  A very scary place to be.  Usually the children move back home with their parents but in our case, we moved in with the kids and Bryan began the long process of job hunting and I returned to the workforce.  

While we were living in Bangkok.....we were very active in our church.....Chaengwattana Community Church.  Because the community was so small, everyone knew the changes we were facing.  Several of the women came to me to encourage me.....and I keep in my Bible a note from one of the Japanese ladies to whom I was teaching English.....encouraging me to keep my eyes focused on God during this time.  Bryan and I were on the worship team at Church and so each week we would stand up in front and sing songs about trusting God during difficult times, songs about God molding us into the people that He wants us to be....and this was difficult occasionally for me but mostly was encouraging to remember how faithful God had been throughout the years.  Singing praise has always raised my spirits.  

As the months went on and the job for Bryan seemed allusive, we would both feel this great building of increased tension.  Oswald Chambers continues, "Yet our trust is only in God up to a certain point, then we turn back to the elementary panic-stricken prayers of those people who do not even know God. We come to our wits’ end, showing that we don’t have even the slightest amount of confidence in Him or in His sovereign control of the world. To us He seems to be asleep, and we can see nothing but giant, breaking waves on the sea ahead of us." It is during these times of extended waiting that we can see how much we have grown in our faith and trust in God.  "But it is when a crisis arises that we instantly reveal upon whom we rely. If we have been learning to worship God and to place our trust in Him, the crisis will reveal that we can go to the point of breaking, yet without breaking our confidence in Him."

Bryan was offered a job with Chevron.  It was very different from the one he had been hired for with Unocal but a good job using his education and skills.  This meant we needed to move from Los Angeles and being close to the children to northern California.  I was surprised at how easy this transition was.....not because Bryan had a job but because we knew that God was going before us and preparing the way.  Oswald Chambers writes, "It (becoming more like Him) will be expressed in our lives as a peaceful resting in God, which means a total oneness with Him." 

Who's Purpose Am I Serving?

http://utmost.org/the-brave-friendship-of-God

Bryan and I moved from Malang, East Java, Indonesia, to the capital, Jakarta in December 1978.  We moved into a lovely home but it was way out of town in a place called, Kabayoran Lama....translated old Kabayoran and we had only one car that Bryan drove each day to work.  I had a driver come if I needed to go anywhere but most of the time I stayed home.....I was also six months pregnant with our first child, Jeremy.

On New Years Eve Bryan took me to the Marriott Hotel for dinner.  While we were there we saw a family come in for dinner also.  Now the unusual thing about this family was when the wife, Lorraine, walked in....she had obviously had a stroke with residual loss of function of her right hand and right leg.  The family was happy and enjoying the time out.  The kids were young and no one showed any unusual concern about how Lorraine was going to eat her meal.  It was clear that this was not a new situation for her.  I continued to watch as they ordered their food and heard the husband say quietly, "Please cut her meat in the kitchen".  That was the only adaptation made.  It was warming to watch this sweet family enjoying time together in their normalcy of life.  The next Sunday we went to church and who should walk in but this same family, smiling and happy to be there.  

After we had settled into our home, I joined the ladies weekly Bible study and who was there?  Lorraine.  I couldn't help  and I it so went to her and introduced myself and told her I had seen her at several venues and was happy to meet her.  I think she was startled and perhaps thought I was a stalker of some sort....but in the 70's this wasn't a huge issue.....stalking....  We chatted and she was so excited when she found that Bryan worked for World Vision International.  They as a family, sponsored several children around the world.  We became good friends and she helped in ways you wouldn't imagine after Jeremy was born....but that is another story.

Because of her friendship and welcoming nature, I became involved in the ladies group and this led to the story today.....Oswald Chambers writes, "Oh, the bravery of God in trusting us! .....As long as you think that you are of value to Him He cannot choose you, because you have purposes of your own to serve. But if you will allow Him to take you to the end of your own self-sufficiency, then He can choose you to go with Him “to Jerusalem” (Luke 18:31). And that will mean the fulfilment of purposes which He does not discuss with you."  I encourage you to read Luke 18:31 because this is when Jesus tells the disciples again that His purpose is to die and then rise again.....so to extrapolate from that to me.....the fulfilment of His purpose must mean that I die to my goals, purposes and plans and am raised again to His purposes.....and that likely I will know that I am not going to be comfortable with this.

For several years I worked with the pastors wives and we wrote Bible Studies for the women's group.  I came to know the ladies quite well and one day Caroline Robertson, a delightful British woman, came to me and asked if I would be willing to be on the committee working with the Christian Women's Club.  They were needing new people on this committee due to some moving away.  I thought since Caroline was so talented with administration and well spoken, she would be the new chairwoman and I would just have some minor role to begin with so I said yes.  When we met my name was put forth by Caroline as Chairwoman and I was voted into the position.  

Now you need to understand....Christian Women's Club was very well received across the church groups in Jakarta as well as the ladies that did not go to church.  The meeting was held at the Hilton Hotel Grand Ballroom and went like this.......meet and greet and have something to eat, call the women together....have some secular music, a program of interest in the community like a fashion show, wildlife talk or special visitor to perform......then religious music and a speaker with a focus on God after which the ladies would leave.  This would take about 3 hours and we met once a month.  The idea of getting up in front of 300 ladies at this venue was daunting and I was terrified.  I was also pregnant with my second son, Justin, at the time and tried to use that as a reason I should not be in front.  I'm sure that those of you reading this now......if you knew me.....would find this anxiety surprising......but at that time, it was really terrifying.  Before the first meeting I was to be in front we had time to pray and then were to go out to the stage......and I had to excuse myself and go to throw up in the bathroom.  This added to my anxiety.....what if I got sick on the stage???

Oswald Chambers continues, "We tend to say that because a person has natural ability, he will make a good Christian (leader). It is not a matter of our equipment, but a matter of our poverty; not of what we bring with us, but of what God puts into us; not a matter of natural virtues, of strength of character, of knowledge, or of experience— all of that is of no avail in this concern. The only thing of value is being taken into the compelling purpose of God and being made His friends (see 1 Corinthians 1:26-31)."  I had written the order of the meeting on 3x5 cards with color coding....but somehow I shuffled the cards so I started with the cultural event and then went straight to the speaker who had a very touching story to tell.....during her speech I saw that I had forgotten the first music....a Broadway musical number....and so after this woman spoke and the room was hushed, I invited the singer to come and she did a really fast humorous song......I closed in prayer and she sang her religious song at the end. It was really sad because many of the women had been touched by the speaker but this was lost in the mix up of the music.  "As Christians we are not here for our own purpose at all— we are here for the purpose of God, and the two are not the same. We do not know what God’s compelling purpose is, but whatever happens, we must maintain our relationship with Him."

The committee met the next week and first on the agenda was what had happened at the community meeting.  I was well aware of the mess I had made of things.....they were aware of my throwing up in the bathroom prior to going onto the stage.....so I did what I believed was the best thing and I resigned.....  I do believe this surprised the ladies but since none of them wanted the postion, my resignation was not accepted.  I say this with tongue in cheek that it was only they didn't want to be the chairwoman.  Looking back at this, I see the hand of God on me....preparing me for other times of leadership.....making me well aware of the areas of inability and weakness....and causing me to draw more on Him during these times.  

Many years later in Bangkok I felt it was time for some other woman to become the head of the Encouraging Women's Group of about 70 ladies that met weekly for Bible study and socialization.  I had been in the position for a long time so with prayer and discussion with the other ladies, we asked Peggy Greer to take the position.  I saw the fear in her eyes and the anxiety that was there for several months as she headed up this group that so reminded me of my start in Jakarta.  It wasn't long before Peggy left Bangkok and moved to Singapore where she started another group to gather women together for Bible study and encouragement.  Oswald Chambers writes, "The most important aspect of Christianity is not the work we do, but the relationship we maintain and the surrounding influence and qualities produced by that relationship. That is all God asks us to give our attention to, and it is the one thing that is continually under attack."

Set Aside

http://utmost.org/the-compelling-purpose-of-God

Nearly everyday I pause and think about what my purpose is.  There there have been times when this seemed very easy to identify.....and it was usually surrounding whatever job I had at that moment.  I frequently find my goals and personal worth are tied closely to what I am to be doing......and it must be something of value.

There were years when I lived in Thailand and several of the ladies and I would get together and talk about...if only I had a job....a salary to call my own.....then I would be happy because I would be able to see my worth in the increase in responsibility and salary that would go with it.....  Now you need to remember that when living as an expatriate generally there are such benefits as a driver, house help, possible cook, built in childcare....and so on.....so to think that I would only be REALLY happy if I was also employed....it is ridiculous......  Furthermore, when looking at this reading today.....what I am doing or what makes me happy isn't the point at all.....but I am just saying....this is what I spend time thinking about in relation to where I am right now.  Oswald Chambers writes, "In the natural life our ambitions are our own, but in the Christian life we have no goals of our own. We talk so much today about our decisions for Christ, our determination to be Christians, and our decisions for this and that, but in the New Testament the only aspect that is brought out is the compelling purpose of God."  


So what about those years in Indonesia, the Philippines, Thailand and now in Angola?   Oswald Chambers continues, "We are not taken into a conscious agreement with God’s purpose— we are taken into God’s purpose with no awareness of it at all. We have no idea what God’s goal may be; as we continue, His purpose becomes even more and more vague."  These words I can identify with well here in Soyo.  I realize I continue to come back to what is happening right now....the delay and perhaps loss of the hope of working here with those at end of life.....to find a real purpose for being here.....  I have already spent more than two years with the hope, in prayer, in searching to see a way of doing something of value here.....for God and the people that need the assistance.....and apparently....at this time.....this is not what I should be focusing on.....so I try not to and to be patient and wait for God to reveal to me what He wants....but the purpose.....as Oswald Chambers says, becomes more and more vague....

Oswald Chambers continues, ".....we have our own ideas as to what God’s purpose is. We say, “God means for me to go over there,” and, “God has called me to do this special work.” We do what we think is right, and yet the compelling purpose of God remains upon us. The work we do is of no account when compared with the compelling purpose of God. It is simply the scaffolding surrounding His work and His plan."  So today.....here in Soyo......housebound with a cast on my leg for at least six more days.....what is my purpose?  What is His reason for bringing Bryan and me here?

Remember, Bryan did not apply for a job here in Angola.....he applied for one in Kazakhstan, Bangladesh, Australia and Texas.....but he was offered a job here in Soyo, Angola.....  To make it even more obvious that we were being sent here, Bryan was on a flight and could not be reached to confirm that he would accept this job....so it was accepted for him and his name was taken out of the other job possibilities......so we accept that this is where we are to be.....and the work is simply the scaffolding surrounding God's work and plan......and for Bryan, I can understand this thought.....and I am also aware that there is no wasted time in the kingdom of God.....  Clearly we have both been 'taken aside' at this time......and this is exactly what Oswald Chambers is talking about...."God takes us aside all the time."  I know that I desire to do what the Father sets in front of me to do.....even if it is waiting expectantly for His purpose to be revealed and in the mean time, continue writing and reflecting on what He has accomplished in the past.....even when I wasn't looking.....

Facing Adversity.....

http://utmost.org/the-teaching-of-adversity

Oswald Chambers begins this writing with this statement, "The typical view of the Christian life is that it means being delivered from all adversity. But it actually means being delivered in adversity, which is something very different."  I have written before of my own thoughts that somehow as a Christian, I would be protected from difficulty.....adversity....and what a shock it is to find that this is not true.  I have also written about the family life changing accident of our eldest son.....and there was a year of difficulty and adversity for all of us.....and so I have more thoughts on this.....

Once Jeremy was released from ICU he was moved to the rehabilitation floor of Children's Hospital of San Diego.  This was in the old part of the hospital and we went from Jeremy in one bed alone with a nurse to care for him to his being placed in a bed with two other children in the room and their families visiting.  At first I really hated this.  I felt it was intrusive and wanted to be in a private room......neither our insurance nor the doctor would allow this.  Once Jeremy was on this wing he had to participate in rehabilitation therapy.  He would be taken out of bed, put in a wheel chair that had a head support because he couldn't hold his head up yet......and they rolled him to the rehab rooms.  

Physical Therapy started as soon as Jeremy was able to respond to verbal cues.....and it was painful to watch although I don't believe it was painful to Jeremy......  In those 17 days in ICU he had become so thin and weak......we didn't realize at the time that the blood clot in the back of his brain was affecting his sight.  The physical therapist, Amy, who worked mainly with him was a tiny girl but amazingly strong.  She would put him on a mat and have him lift his legs and arms.  

I mentioned that when Jeremy was first injured many people from around the world called to give support.  It was amazing but Jeremy's best friend, Stephen Sheldon, from the International School in Bangkok, Thailand, was visiting family in San Deigo.  When his father who was in Thailand heard about the accident he called his wife and son to come to visit at the hospital.  I remember that when we were leaving that evening.....the second day participating in rehab......I told Jeremy, Stephen is coming to visit you tomorrow.  Now at this time Jeremy knew his Dad, sister and brother's names but called me Fred......so I told him the news of Stephen but never expected he would remember the next day......  In the morning when I arrived I asked him if he remembered who was coming today.....and he smiled and said, "Stephen".  I was amazed.  We were walking Jeremy in the wheelchair that held up his head to rehab when Stephen arrived.  He came in the door and just stopped.  He couldn't believe this was Jeremy.....he had changed so much.  The therapist continued to roll the chair to rehab and I went to Stephen and told him he didn't have to stay.....this was very hard.......but he composed himself and followed me into the physical therapy rooms.  Both of these boys were entering 9th grade......so very young.  Stephen continued to come every day while he was in the area and get down on the mat with Jeremy to encourage him to work hard with the exercises.  The last day came and Stephen was leaving......he told Jeremy he would come to say good by but called that morning and said he just couldn't do it.  Leaving Jeremy was so difficult for him......I did my best to comfort him.....and reminded him that it was the first thing Jeremy remembered from one day to the next.....the day he first came.  I told Jeremy that Stephen was too sad to come and Jeremy said, "ok".  

Remembering this once again fills me with the great sadness of those days.  I begin to remember the isolation of that time.....the feelings of hopelessness as we struggled to make it through each day....just as Jeremy was struggling to be able to become independently functioning again.  The incredible difficulties Justin and Amanda had in their schools and these events changed them forever......  Oswald Chambers writes, "If you are a child of God, you will certainly encounter adversities, but Jesus says you should not be surprised when they come. 'In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.' He is saying, 'There is nothing for you to fear.'"  This does not seem to make sense in times like the ones in which we were living.  But I am here to tell you that it is true..  Life is full of difficulties.....some beyond comprehension as you go through them and a feeling at times that God has forgotten us.....but it just simply isn't true.  Oswald Chambers continues, "God does not give us overcoming life— He gives us life as we overcome. The strain of life is what builds our strength. If there is no strain, there will be no strength."  

Jeremy stayed as an inpatient for a total of 90 days.  At that time he was considered well enough to go home and continue his therapy as an outpatient.  This brought its own set of increased pressure.  Amanda and Justin were in their schools and trying to survive there....they would then come home to their brother that was someone they didn't know.....He had been the one who cared for everyone and now he needed to be cared for.  Bryan was commuting to Thailand and returning for about a week to ten days every six weeks.  I was just trying to make it through each day.....so not a life of obvious victory......

When it was finally time to leave the hospital and start the outpatient rehab, the nurse practitioner asked me to go to lunch with her because she wanted to ask me a question.....I thought it was to ask if I wanted a job to be an advocate for other families going through what we were.....I guess I always think it is about a job.....  Instead she asked me this question, "What makes you so different from the other mothers in rehab?"  I was surprised.  I asked her to clarify what she meant by being so different and she said I was going through all that every other mother was going through but had a peace and serenity about me......  I had to think....The only time that I spoke most clearly about my trusting in the Lord to get me and the family through this was in ICU.....and we told the nurses there....and then once when the speech pathologist, Cindy, shared how the healing would take place and what to expect next.  She said that a child that has had a sweet personality like Jeremy may become aggressive and swear and act in a sexual manner.....I told her that God would not allow that....He would keep Jeremy with the personality that He had given him.....Those were the only two times that it was overt speaking about my trust in God's faithfulness. I'm sure they saw us pray with Jeremy each night before we left the hospital too.  Anyway, all I could say to her is that I know that no matter how difficult things are, God is not just with me.....but He is holding me up and making a way for me to stand in His strength.  She just looked at me and we finished lunch.  I'm not sure what she had expected me to say.....but it was true.....I could not have made that year without the strength from God.....Oswald Chambers writes....God never gives us strength for tomorrow, or for the next hour, but only for the strain of the moment. Our temptation is to face adversities from the standpoint of our own common sense. But a saint can “be of good cheer” even when seemingly defeated by adversities, because victory is absurdly impossible to everyone, except God."